Sunday, August 24, 2008

Why write?

Just the other day I found myself, once again, explaining to someone why I blog. The truth is, before I started, I hadn't really realized that something that had always been part of my life had been absent for quite some time. When I started this page- started typing away and letting friends, as well as strangers, into some intimate parts of my life, I felt a little renewed.
I used to be an avid scrapbooker...you know, the late-nighters, the tubs upon tubs of supplies, and of course the $$...all to document my kids' lives forever. Well, it all became too much, too overwhelming. But, a big part of my scrapbooking was journaling. I loved to write long, detailed stories about our lives. I guess those scrapbooks became my writing outlet. I missed it.
Blogging has brought me back. I love to let the world know what goes on in my little world. Sharing the silly, cute kid stories allows me to be a little indulgent and celebrate my little kiddos. And...writing about the struggles and tragedies allow me to move forward, a little bit at a time. Sharing details about my mom frees me to let go of the sadness. I want the world to know who she was.
My mom was an amazing writer. She loved language and she had even penned the first line of the novel she would one day write. Some of the most beautiful, enlightened poetry flowed out of her. Everything was exquisite, from the carefully chosen words to the absolute perfect handwriting. She had the most beautiful handwriting I have ever seen! She was, in every sense...a WRITER. I don't have quite the gift she had, but I surely have the desire and innate need to put pen to paper. Thanks, Mom.

We drank

expresso

in our coffee-house days

and listened to Ginsberg and Ferlinghetti

confirm

what we already knew.

We boycotted

college classes and grapes

and

followed

Jack Kerouac

down

an unchartered highway.

And now,

(stuffed to middle-class perfection)

we search

the eyes of strangers

for the

soul of a revolutionary.

~written by my mom (the forever hippie)

7 comments:

Wendy said...

That is exactly the picture of Aunt Brenda that I have in my head! She was so pretty! I wish I had just a little of her talent!!!

Have you heard any new updates on Stephanie other then her sisters blog? What an amazing person she is!! She has definitly inspired me!

Jeff and Kristy said...

Wow Sara! You really do look just like your mom.

Anonymous said...

I worked with your mom for quite some time before I realized that she was someone entirely different from what I infered from her appearance. One day, while leaving the Brimhall parking lot, she was in the car in front of me. There was a John Lennon bumper sticker (or something along those lines) on her back fender. I remember thinking, "That can't be Brenda Peterson. She's the teacher with all of those shoes." One of the many things I learned from her is that hippies and cute shoes are not mutually exclusive. :-)

Sara said...

Anonymous,

I love your story. That was my mom exactly! She WAS NOT a Birkenstock hippie!

Keli said...

Sara,
Thank you for posting a comment on my mom's cancer blog. It's so nice to know that other people feel what we have tried to write. Sometimes it seems words aren't enough. I was just reading your spot about your mom on your sidebar, and I feel the same way about my mom! Why is it that the good ones die? So.not.fair! Anyway, love your blog. And your pics are beautiful! I'll add you to my Peeps if that's okay with you. Thanks again.
Keli.

Heather Mommy said...

Your mom sounds amazing. I think you do have her writing talent. I always love reading your blog.

Keri said...

I think I remember that being read at your mom's funeral...She was an amazing woman, teacher, mom, wife, and mentor. I love the picture of her, you look just like her!

I agree with you on why we blog. I want to look back on my kids' life when they were little and remember my thoughts and feelings about them at that time in our life. It's so much easier for me than scrapbooking!