There are some days when I
like a bad mom.
I lose my patience, yell too much, and
and hear myself saying, "No, you can't" over and over again.
Last summer, Lance and I saw a movie called The Boys Are Back. We loved it. In the film, Gerard Butler tragically and suddenly becomes a single father and in order to cope, takes on a "just say yes" attitude.
I started thinking about how many times a day I say "NO" to my kids. Sure, it is often for their own good or for their safety.
But, sometimes, I say "no" because it is easier.
"No, we can't go to the park today."
"No, you can't make yourself a sandwich."
"No snacks." "No messes." "No running in the house."
"No, no, no."
Why am I saying "no" so often?
Am I trying to assert my authority? Am I trying to set limits? Am I just being lazy?
One of the changes I am trying to make this year is to say "yes" to my kids more often. I have to admit, it has been difficult.
On Saturday morning, we went to the zoo. I wanted the four of us to just have fun and I was determined to leave my "no's" at home.
I was prepared with a backpack full of snacks and drinks so I could avoid the snack bar begging.
For two hours, I followed the kids.
"Can we climb the rock?" yes
"Can we stay in the petting zoo longer?" yes
"Can we? Can we? Can we? yes, yes, yes
it was hard.
But, the result was great. We had fun. The kids were all smiles and the best part was that they got along so well.
My children won't be small forever. Eventually, they will grow into teens and do anything and everything to avoid spending time with me. But, right now, they think I'm pretty darn cool.
So, if they want me to get off of the computer and play army guys, I will. If they feel like making chocolate chip cookies, but I just cleaned the kitchen...oh, well. There is always time for another book at story time. I can always fit in a quick game of basketball.
It's taken a while, but
a little "yes"
makes a whole lot of difference.