Monday, April 27, 2009

Love/Hate Relationship


I am in a dysfunctional relationship.

I'm in love with the run...On those days I am consumed with thoughts of it; When is my next one? How will I get faster/stronger? Running is my serenity. I leave this world and escape into my own thoughts. I work through life's issues, talk with my mom, plan tonight's dinner. The run is where I leave all of my worries and frustrations on the pavement. It makes me physically and mentally strong and the feeling of complete and total exhaustion after a run is one of the greatest highs you can experience. And...finally, I have a pair of calves I can be proud of.

But, sometimes I hate running. I ran eighteen miles yesterday morning. Two miles in, my knee ached and this nagging, terrible pain in my ankle decided to make an early appearance. The pain doesn't go away. My willingness to acknowledge it does. I run on. I spend at least 2 hours/day icing, alternating between my right knee, left ankle, and right calf (and sometimes, strange as it sounds, my left forearm). I wear this magnetic knee stabilizing brace at night. I have a side of ibuprofen with my breakfast, lunch, and dinner and my physical exhaustion has, at times, impaired my mental keenness (I ran straight into a garbage can on a run recently). For all of these reasons, at this very moment, I hate running.

However, like most people in any dysfunctional relationship, I will acknowledge all of damaging and destructive effects of my running and then I will ignore them and hope they go away.

Because, after all, the run is just too good to give up.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. After so many of you have generously adopted my marathon miles, I only have one more left. After all 26 miles are sponsored, I hope to continue to raise as much $$ as possible. If you donate, you will be listed to the right as an additional sponsor. This morning, I attended the funeral of a friend's mom who died last week of pancreatic cancer. Again, we were reminded how devastating this disease is. On May 31st, I want to cross that finish line knowing that I have raised as much as I can to contribute to the Pancreatic Cancer Action Network in honor of my mom. Thank you for supporting me. It helps me get through those painful days!


Davis Family Ü said...

Keep it up Sara... You only have a few weeks left. Then you can run for fun instead of for a goal! You need to go get a massage every week until the marathon..seriously! ;)

SMPS Fan Club said...

You are so incredibly inspiring! I can definitely relate to how you feel about the negatives of being active. Thank you for also pointing out all of the great reasons to put our bodies through hell. Before a hard training ride I think of one of my favorite quotes by the famous Boston Marathon runner Juma Ikangaa. He said, "The will to win means nothing without the will to prepare." I love that you have both the will and the hard work ethic to be successful. Your Amazing! I love you.

Lindsey Wood-Felstead said...

Being an athlete looks like a full time job! You are going to feel so great when you cross that finish line in SD! Keep up the good work!

nicole said...

You are so inspiring Sara! I hope all your aches and pains are gone soon!